The "Jerziest Jerz"

Thanks to hotPicsWithDoucheBags.com for the pic.

A Bronzer's Stare

Thanks to the sherdog forum and floodtheclub.com for the pic.

Reader submission: My rosy cheeks are burning red!

Reader submission: "B*tch is real tan"

Great reader submission Facebook photo from James who says the following:

"Best part is, the kid in the pic commented on it saying "b*tch is real tan"

LoL

Reader submission: Are you wearing surgical gloves?

Then why are your hands so white? Great reader submission from Bethany!

"Orange Hardy"

Thanks to inthemix.com.au for leading me to this pic, and to whoever who came up with the name "Orange Hardy."

Orange Muppet reacts negatively to Orange Hardy...

Yeah don't forget to tan your legs too, idiot

Is that underwear dude? Inappropriate, put some pants on or change to swim trunks.

Come on dude, you can't be serious

Ugh he's so shiny ;-(
Thanks to break.com for the pic.

Sadly, I don't think he's being sarcastic

Thanks to the amazing site lamebook.com for the pic.

WTF? Brownish-red crayon man

He's so shiny too!

Good posture but bad tan

Thanks to silvercity.com.au for the pic.

Old tan D-Bag with pedo mustache

Thanks to theDirty.com for the pic.

Ms. Brown Cheeks

Celeb bad fake tans compilation

Can you name them all?
Thanks to femenino.info for the pic.

Lizzie Grubman looks like a battered fried chicken

For those that don't know, she's an American publicist. I unfortunately saw her on an episode of PoweR Girls on MTV years ago and thought that she came off as a beeyotch. She is also known for running over a bunch of people in her SUV back in 2001. Sweet!

Oh bro, you're so diesel, your tan really brings out your muscle definition

His shoulders, triceps/biceps. and forearms are all the same diameter...FAIL
Thanks to nj-guido.com for the pic.

There's a lot of things wrong with this picture....

WTF?! Thanks to break.com for the pic

Spray tan foot fail

When I used to spray tan (yes, sadly I used to spray tan), getting the hands and feet to look natural was very difficult. I would put the barrier cream all over my hands, feet, and nails, but my nails and toenails would be stained brown. It looked like I had dirty toenails that I never cleaned. There was no getting the brown out of the nails either, you had to wait till they grew out.

Brownish-red head

Arse.
Thanks to guidofistpump.com for the pic.

Shiny orange glistening forhead, kissy face

Thanks to thedirty.com for the pic.

BBQ Sauce

FYI fake tan does have a taste to it, but it doesn't taste like BBQ sauce.
Thanks to icanhascheezburger.com and inthemix.com.au for the pic.

Yeeeeoowwwch!

Thanks to kontraband.com for the pic.

Obligatory: Snooki from Jersey Shore

Snooki is the tannest of the eight cast members of Jersey Shore. For those that don't know, Jersey shore is the pinnacle of reality TV (or the nadir, depending on how you look at it). I have to admit, the show is very entertaining and I do think Snooki AKA Snickers is a sweet person.
The top pic is from Snooki's facebook. Cartoon made by Ryan Casey at butyourelikereallypretty.tumblr.com and goryango.com. Thanks to reader lehcareht for the info!

Less tanning, more treadmill

Exercise will be way healthier for you and make you look a lot better than that orange tan.
Thanks to nj-guido.com for the pic.

That look is "Orange Steel"

Thanks to thedirty.com for the pics.

Weird kissy face guido looking guy

Guys should NOT do the kissy face to attract women.

This bottom pic is a photoshop of the internet legend Brian Peppers, converted into an orange, spikey haired, kissy-face guido.  Notice the similarities between the two pics.

Good photoshops of the famous prom guidos

These photoshops crack me up.
Happy new year!

Lance Armstrong? More like Lance Armtan! OK lame joke, I know

Goes along with this week's bad biker tan theme

Biker Michael Rasmussen, worst farmer's tan ever

Eat some food bro! Thanks to readers bienjamu and life_of_holly for pointing out that this is biker Michael Rasmussen and that those spots on his chest are moles, not brown liquid splattered on him ;-(
Separately I've been pretty busy lately and hope to respond to reader emails in the next couple of weeks.

Did he fall into a septic tank while wearing a body suit?

How is his uncooked turkey torso that white? And what's with the brown spots on his chest? If someone knows the back story to this, please let me know.
Thanks to break.com for the pic.

Kim Kardashian burned

I'd still smash her even if I get burnt in the process, if you catch my drift.
Posted from her Twitter page twitter.com/kIMKARDASHIAN

Mo' Guidos, mo' problems

Fake tans, kissy faces, fake gang signs, Ed Hardy, shirt unbuttoned, sculpted eyebrows, blowout haircuts... :(
Thanks to ebaumsworld.com for the pics.

Alyssa Milano's Evolution: Jersey Shore

Alyssa Milano's Evolution: Jersey Shore from Alyssa Milano

Jersey Shore on MTV is the pinnacle of reality tv shows...or the nadir, depending how you look at it. I highly recommend it. Inspired by the show, here we have actress Alyssa Milano transforming into an over-tanned guidette.
Thanks to funnyOrDie.com for the video.

UK rap song about orange fake tans

You can view the lyrics to the song if you double click on the video to go to the YouTube link, and then click on "more info" on the right side of the screen.
I'm not really feeling the song, but it has its place on this blog.
Thanks to reader "Snipe" for pointing this song out to me.

Danish collection

Those are some interesting looking girls with their extensions and weird blush/tan thing going on...I'd still smash. I gotta take a trip to Denmark one of these days, but not for the tans.
Thanks to dkbn.dk for the pics and for inthemix.com.au for leading me to them.

Tough = neck tattoo + orange head + shaved eyebrows

Thanks to the inthemix.com.au forum for leading me to this pic

More Guido orangeness

Are they wearing makeup?
Thanks to floodtheclub.com and ebaumsworld.com for the pic.

Pucker up orangey

Thanks to hotchickswithdouchebags.com for the pic.

Orange chicken

Thanks to guidofistpump.com for the pic.