Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Shiny bronzed face

Her face shines like patent leather, and leather is exactly what her skin will turn into if she keeps tanning.
Thanks to for the pics.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The darker side of bodybuilding

As I've mentioned previously in my blog, bodybuilding style workouts are one of my favorite things to do, but there's a lot of things that I don't like about bodybuilding...the steroids, competition dieting and dehydration, and of course, the tanning. The guys shown here exemplify at least two out of those three ;-) The last guy is somewhat gremlin like.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Reader submission: Filthy-Tan Barbie

Our reader has this to say about the pics:
Morning from London!

I am from Edinburgh and unfortunately we have far too many 'girls' (I say that as they all now look 34 rather than 19 due to their excessive sun bed usage over the past 5 years) running around with bleach blonde hair and disgusting different shades of oompa loompa skin.

Please find attached a few photos of a particularly bad offender called [name omitted], please also feel free to name and shame her.

loving the blog, please keep up the good work

Saturday, March 27, 2010


FYI, Dihydroxyacetone, DHA for short, is the active ingredient in many self tanning products. A good amount of people, including myself, have allergies to DHA. This is somehow fitting since I run this website on bad tans and all.
Thanks to for the pic.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Reader submission: "She is a stunner . . ."

Those aren't sun flowers in her hair, but they must be somehow attracting UV rays to her body.
Thanks to Woody for the pics.
Submissions, inquiries, etc. can be sent to the email address listed in the top right of this blog :)

Reader submission: Chicago's shame

Thanks to Bondo for the submission. Bondo says:
This is my friend's estranged, child-abusing Mom! Her neglect killed a kid, boy is her
Seriously woman, spend less time rubbing lotions on your face and more time watching the kids. Since I'm originally from Chicago, it's embarrassing to see people like this. The news article can be found here:

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Old fat men getting their tan on.

Wah wah wee wah! Not a good look fellas. The pic of the beached whale striking a *secksi* pose is from
On a side note, did everyone hear that United States health care reform is implementing a 10% tax on tanning coming soon? This should reduce tanning, and thus reduce skin cancer.

Reader Submission: Too tan to look at the camera

He should use those drinks to rehydrate after all that tanning.
On a side note, big thanks to The Sun for the recent feature, as well as Brand X, and of course all the readers on Twitter, Facebook, etc. for spreading the word :)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Reader submission: Blotchy duckface

Thanks to Lisa for pointing this out to me. She says "blotchy tan + duckface = awesome (in a schadenfreude sort of way)"
Picture source:

Reader submission: One of these things is not like the others....

One of these things just doesn't belong.
Thanks to Hazel for the pic!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Reader submission: Gypsy wedding tans

Check out the girl on our right next to the red head.
The source article on tacky and over the top gypsy weddings can be found at
My mom used to tell me about how 35 years ago the gypsies would come into her fabric store every month and steal tons of stuff. There would be so many Gypsies in there at once that the employees couldn't stop them all from stealing. Based on the custom wedding gowns in these pictures, it looks like they are still using that fabric. I'm passive-aggressively posting this story on my blog so that my mom can have her revenge!
Thanks to Sharon for the submission!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Reader submission: Wait a second here....

Girl on our left: Natural. Girl on our right: Unnatural.
Thanks to Allie for the submission.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Reader submission: Gadzooks, she even has bad eyebrows

FYI weird, unnatural, asymmetrical eyebrows are a huge pet peeve of mine.
This is the same girl in the post From her we need less tanning, eyebrow tweezing, hair bleaching, but more working out.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Reader submission: Her color is officially now known as "Spray Tan Brown"

Or maybe it should be "Spray Tan Orange"? Either way, Crayola should introduce the color in one of their big boxes of crayons. P.S. I gotta keep it real, I'd still smash that any day.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Tanning Tatum...err, Channing Tanum...err, Channing Tatum

That's a nice blotchy look. It looks like there is a white spot in the middle of his forehead.
Thanks to for the pics.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Lindsay Lohan displays common spray tanning problems

The collection and heavier absorption of the spray tan around the lips, as well as the streaking on the shins are two problems that I also got when I spray tanned years ago.
Here's another shin streak example from Geri Halliwell:
There's a real easy way to fix this: save your time and money and just go pale.
Thanks to slash for the pics.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Another pic from the board

What the hell is going on with these people?! They're going to give Melanotan a bad name. Check out for more info.

Another hardcore Melanotan user

Holy crap is she tan. She looks like she could be an alien on an old episode of Star Trek. Go to for more info.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Hot Tub Time Machine screening aftermath

Thanks to everyone who came out to the screening of Hot Tub Time Machine! Everyone enjoyed the movie and had a ton of laughs.
I bet Wolffi007 would also enjoy Hot Tub Time Machine

More pics of the German Melanotan user

It's weird that his head and neck are so much darker than his arms. Either he's supplementing his Melanotan injections with lotions on only his face, tanning only his face, or the Melanotan just absorbs extra well in his face...Or perhaps Melanotan works more strongly around the area that you inject it in?...but that would be super hardcore to inject around your head area...I dunno.
Go to for more info.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Reader submission: Scotland's No1 Male Barbie's 'Makeunder'

This is the same guy from "Uh is this dude serious?". Apparently he was serious :-/
Thanks to Cassie Clarke for the submission.

Reader submission: A user of the drug Melanotan

Thanks to Martin for the submission. I'll let his email do the explaining:

Love your blog. Cracks me up how ridiculous these people are!

Have you heard about the drug melanotan? Not sure about the history of it, but there are loads of people buying it online from Chinese labs and injecting themselves with it EVERY friggin day. Apparently it increases melanin development in the skin, but some people take it to extremes and use sunbeds and lotions and sh*t as well as the injection. There's a German dude in these forums at who has decided he wants to be black, but wound up just looking ridiculous. I've attached a before and after pic that someone in there made of him, but if you go here and click through, you'll see the progress. Run it through google translate if you want to read it, but its mostly stupid crap.

This guy makes youtube videos and stuff as well... I just think he looks a failed Bill Cosby clone.

Anyway, enjoy! And if you're ever light on material, the guys in that forum are MAD.


I first heard about Melanotan years ago when I was trying to find a better solution to spray tanning and real sun based tanning. One of the people on the forum was a woman who clearly injected anabolic steroids as well as Melanotan. She wasn't nearly as tan as this freak though. It's been on my to-do list for a while to scour this Melanotan forum, and with gems like this guy (Thanks again Martin), it looks like I need to get moving!

Monday, March 8, 2010

The Donald Trump Foundation

And by foundation I mean foundation makeup. That's a bad fake tan.
Thanks to for the pic.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Yin Yang tan

So normally he goes shirtless with pants, but today he opted for shirtless with shorts....
Thanks to for the pic.