Wednesday, August 11, 2010

This guy? again

This thing was on here before...Double-Yew Tee Eff?
Thanks to theDirty.com for the pic.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Reader Submission: Tanorexic with raccoon eyes

Raccoon eyes, otherwise known as panda eyes, even though raccoons and pandas have darker circles around their eyes, not lighter...hmmmmmmmm
The reader writes:
"She's a great person but she's addicted to tanning and her skin is starting to look horrid. It looks like she paints her skin and it's absolutely disgusting. She is a pretty girl but she's ruining herself."
Sounds like we need tanning rehab.

Reader submission: Orange Bottle Rat

Enjoy your expensive liquid poison ladies.
Thanks to Kelly for the picture.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Some of the worst tan lines of all time

The first guy is absolutely frightening with the blurred out face and natural diving-cap-like head.
In the second pic with the watch tan line, are those blisters or moles on the hand? If they're moles, get them checked out by a dermatologist. The hands get a lot of sun as that person found out.
Thanks to break.com for the first pic and TMZ.com for the rest.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Show us with your fingers the number of bronzer applications she has on

Really? I think it's more than that....

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

You look out of this world, but not in the way you think

Does it ever occur to her when she sees pictures of herself with other people, or when she's looking in a bathroom mirror with another person, that she is INSANELY tan in comparison to them? Probably not, I'm guessing she's oblivious.
Thanks to theDirty.com for the pic.

Monday, July 19, 2010

PaleIsTheNewTan.com featured on ABC Nightline



On Friday night ABC Nightline featured PaleIsTheNewTan.com! I had an eye infection, crazier than usual hair, and I'm talking out the side of my mouth all weird, but at least the quotes they used from me are decent! :)
Thanks to all the readers of this blog for your continued support!

Reader submission: Change your skin and your hair to inhuman colors

TRANSCEND HUMANITY!
Thanks to Michael for the pic.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Orange Chinese Mask Face

Thanks to epicFail.com for the fail pic, and houyeah.com for the Chinese Mask pic.
In other news, no, I am not dead. I had to take some time off to focus on work stuff. During the break ABC did film me for a segment on spray tans that will be on ABC Nightline if they do air it.
During the break, I also had to get more sun damage frozen and cut off my body. I'm only 29 and haven't tanned in years. The sun is no joke!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Leave your humanity behind and become a tan creature of the club scene

She is rocking both the heart shape AND the playboy sign. That's a hardcore tanner right there.
Thanks to theDirty.com for the pic.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Their hair is repelled by their orange faces

Hair hates orange bronzer apparently and tries to escape from it. Man I have the urge to stick my head underneath the shower right now....rinse all the evil away.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Absolut Tan

Another copper face, another kissy face. Someone hand her a wet face cloth please.

I can just picture this girl doing the Snooki "WAAAAHHH!"

This girl makes Shane Carwin go "WTF?"

Monday, May 31, 2010

Is he a Sweedo?

Could be, I dunno, but he sure is tan. The lighter brow line is sweet.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

My tanning haiku

Her orange panda eyes
From the background they stare out
She thinks of tanning

The "BizarrOrange World" bodybuilding competition

In the BizarrOrange World, people that aren't in shape paint themselves in self tanner and compete in bodybuilding competitions. For real though, I have no idea what the back story on this pic is. They're dressed and tanned like they're ready to do some posing for a bodybuilding competition, but they certainly aren't in bodybuilder shape...Anyone know what's going on?
Thanks to theBerry.com for the pic.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Battlefield Earth Barbie

Thanks to theBerry.com for the pics.

Reader submission: I CAN HAS CANZER?

Why? WHY?? The painful sunburn, plus the smoking....I'm concerned for your health man.
Thanks to Erik for the submission.

Monday, May 17, 2010

"Grandpa Trout" from theDirty.com

Trout is TheDirty.com slang for "an older man who dates younger women in trying to be younger or “swim upstream”".

Uh what happened?

I can't tell if it's a bad fake tan, a skin disease, or what....

Thursday, May 6, 2010

If ghosts could tan...

Kind of reminds me of like a Scooby Doo ghost, but with a tan....

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Sweet and Sour

Man I love Chinese food...
I got the pic and the title from break.com

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Her Mystic Tan level is over 9000!

I'm not sure where the pic is originally from but the censored eyes are reminiscent of LameBook.com

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Fright Night Tan

!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!11oneoneeleven
Who is that girl anyway? ttyl

Reader submission: Just a bit of blotchy bronzer

The reader says:
Hello E.O.

My friend...is naturally this brown and not to be mocked. She deliberately had this pic taken with this guy to show how ridiculous his fake tan was compared to her real one! She tried hard not to laugh at him in this pic. He seems to think he's a babe magnet and needs his arrogance and tan bringing down a few notches!

Thankyou!

p.s. i realize this guy isn't even in the same league as some of the others but any special occasion or ball and ppl will smear on the mucky fake tan!
Sadly, my skin must have looked like this guy's back around 2002 when I applied bronzer. It gives you this blotchy, unnatural, unhealthy look on your face. When I stopped putting that crap on my face I remember these two girls saying, "wow, what did you do? You look good! Whatever you're doing, keep doing it!" The only thing I had changed was that I stopped bronzing. Do less and look better, awesome!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Exceeding the U.S. RDA for copper


The U.S. Recommended Daily Allowance (RDA) for copper is 900 micrograms for adults. This woman looks like she eats a kilogram.