Thursday, December 31, 2009

Lance Armstrong? More like Lance Armtan! OK lame joke, I know

Goes along with this week's bad biker tan theme

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Biker Michael Rasmussen, worst farmer's tan ever

Eat some food bro! Thanks to readers bienjamu and life_of_holly for pointing out that this is biker Michael Rasmussen and that those spots on his chest are moles, not brown liquid splattered on him ;-(
Separately I've been pretty busy lately and hope to respond to reader emails in the next couple of weeks.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Did he fall into a septic tank while wearing a body suit?

How is his uncooked turkey torso that white? And what's with the brown spots on his chest? If someone knows the back story to this, please let me know.
Thanks to for the pic.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Kim Kardashian burned

I'd still smash her even if I get burnt in the process, if you catch my drift.
Posted from her Twitter page

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Mo' Guidos, mo' problems

Fake tans, kissy faces, fake gang signs, Ed Hardy, shirt unbuttoned, sculpted eyebrows, blowout haircuts... :(
Thanks to for the pics.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Alyssa Milano's Evolution: Jersey Shore

Jersey Shore on MTV is the pinnacle of reality tv shows...or the nadir, depending how you look at it. I highly recommend it. Inspired by the show, here we have actress Alyssa Milano transforming into an over-tanned guidette.
Thanks to for the video.

Friday, December 25, 2009

UK rap song about orange fake tans

You can view the lyrics to the song if you double click on the video to go to the YouTube link, and then click on "more info" on the right side of the screen.
I'm not really feeling the song, but it has its place on this blog.
Thanks to reader "Snipe" for pointing this song out to me.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Danish collection

Those are some interesting looking girls with their extensions and weird blush/tan thing going on...I'd still smash. I gotta take a trip to Denmark one of these days, but not for the tans.
Thanks to for the pics and for for leading me to them.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tough = neck tattoo + orange head + shaved eyebrows

Thanks to the forum for leading me to this pic

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

More Guido orangeness

Are they wearing makeup?
Thanks to and for the pic.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Pucker up orangey

Thanks to for the pic.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Orange chicken

Thanks to for the pic.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

It's a man baby!

Actually, I'm not sure about that being a man but it does looks very tranny like.
Thanks to and for the pics.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Stephen Baldwin, you don't look so good man, are you all right?

Better get those bilirubin levels checked out because you have jaundice.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

What a colorful face you have my dear

I can't tell if this is the same girl in the Hungarian Ghoul photo or not. In this pic she looks like she might cute if she washed all the crap off of her face.
Thanks to the NOT SAFE FOR WORK for the pic.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Order another bucket of Benjamin Moore brown paint

Thanks to for the pic

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

iJustine's sister is inhumanly brown

iJustine is a video blogger and internet celebrity.  She is the regular colored one, and her sister is the one with the strange hue.  The girls are hot though and I'd smash them both.
Thanks to Chris for pointing me to these pics.
Pics from

Monday, December 14, 2009

The tanning downward spiral

The author at says "So between 2006 and 2007 she visited the planet Mercury?" LoL
Thanks to for the pic.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The look on her face says it all

Thanks to for the pic

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Guido Jesus

This pic has been on the interwebz for a while.  Thanks to for this.

Friday, December 11, 2009


+1 point ridiculousness for the kissy face.
Thanks to for the pic

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Maroon Man

Thanks to Ema for sending me this pic from

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Donatella Versace's leathery skin is used to make Versace hand bags when it peels

She looks like she is 1/3 grandma, 1/3 prostitute, and 1/3 scab.
Thanks to,,, and for the pics.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tanning and crunches are their favorite things

Over the top spray tans and good abs are more important to these guys than world peace. Looks like one brother had one more Mystic Tan session than the other.
Thanks to for the pics.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Lee Hotti, internet meme breaks down the Lee Hotti phenomenon. There even used to be a Lee Hotti website.
Thanks to which made the hilarious PSA,,, and for some of the pics, and for the cartoon.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Reader submission: The Tan Ram

The Ram is Mickey Rourke's character in the awesome movie "The Wrestler" (bottom picture). This tan copy needs less tanning and more fixing the grill.